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Full Hearts, Empty Places

by allen odell

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ben The first time I heard Chattanooga, it was like being hit in the stomach. Not since Pedro The Lion's Options had I been so impacted by a song. This album appeared on zero AOTY lists I saw. That only proves people are stupid. AOTY 2022 for me.
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1.
Chattanooga 04:25
I really wish that I would’ve Gone to the park with my guitar To sing a song of freedom And wounds becoming scars, but I Let laziness get to me Lacked intentionality And slept In a ratty dive bar I drink a couple of beers with my buddy We speak of sorrow, Social anxieties, and the like There’s something special here We know that the Savior’s near And we walk Now in Chattanooga In this dark hotel room Dwelling on fear and doubt and suicide But I don’t know why Sing the doxology Softly and quietly And cry Oh Lord, I’m feeling weak And it’s gonna get worse, But I hear You speak, “It’s all worth living for” “It’s all worth living for” Oh Lord, I’m feeling weak And it’s gonna get worse, But I hear You
2.
I Hear You 01:38
3.
Are you okay? It’s not like you to not pick up I’ll call your mom Try to find you at work Fighting morbid imminence I need you safe I can’t pretend to be so tough Soon we’ll be deeply in need To discover innocence Nantahala Went rafting with the teens Hyper focused To get us safe downstream Soon enough Brother, you’ll see what I mean Fall has come And our willful ignorance must be swallowed up by urgency You are okay You’re not dead, can’t say the same For your phone Or even our friend Rising early to mow lawns Come Saturday You’ll feel ashamed of your new job Someone’s son drowns in his thoughts But we must row on Jacksonville bound I couldn’t help but cry Every desolate stretch of 75 You sent a song to me Sang of how we would die “Young birds flying” I walked these Florida streets, watched for God to come and break the sky Everything around is shaking Spinning all around Will the Earth realign? I’ve never felt a breeze more sacred Stretch my spine across this concrete Pleading for life Wake us up Good God, wake us up (Won’t You wake us?) Wake us up Good God, wake us up (Won’t You wake us?) Take us up Good God, take us up I’ll remember Perry, Georgia But not for the annual fair For the tears we shared in the parking lot of that Sonny's BBQ And how I wanted to be anywhere but there
4.
Minute Break 02:05
Sit back and meditate Like a line cook on a minute break Extending the life of a cigarette Meditate Lie down and meditate Like a cool cat on a winter day Beneath a sunlit window pane Meditate There’s so much To consider now Mercy and kindness Seek and you’ll find this You’ll be alright, kid Put on the mind, kid You’ll grow in time, kid Just breathe Sit back and meditate Like a line cook on a minute break Extending the life of a cigarette Meditate
5.
In the light You’ll find me there Out back By the trash, unaware Of the eyes In my direction Questioning the countenance Of affliction Put the phone Up to your ear And let me hear My very tears These melodies Accompany me Quiet now On the bathroom floor Breakfast in motion, Laughter, commotion Outside the door Psalms in my palms Feeling the weight Of it all Thinking of faith, And fate, And fatal flaws Don’t put the gun Up to your head Fight the Good Fight instead These melodies are whispering lies Let’s sing of home Let’s make a fuss Of Light and Life, Belief and Trust These melodies accompany us
6.
Sing your heart out Little Sparrow In the morning light In the meadow When the moon don’t shine When it’s pouring down Sing your heart out Little fellow Little fellow Little fellow Sing your heart out
7.
Young Birds 06:02
I'm looking at the trees now. How they move and how they sway. I can hear a gentle whisper, as if they were trying to say, "We feel the wind beneath our branches. We dance beneath the moonlight's glow. We do not know where it comes from, or where it wants to go." I'm just a young man sitting on the roof. They say all is random, but I don't see the proof. Marveling at the vast blue sky, silhouettes of birds above. Another day, another seed for every sparrow and every dove Singing, "We're just some young birds flying through the sky. Today is a good day, even if we die."
8.
Decatur 04:01
i wake up at witching hour from a nightmare a fear encounter my hope devoured family fleeing shifting ravine the last to leap the first to feel nothing below my feet i shake it off off to decatur say dad i love you i'll see you later i hope I'll see you later i meet a man with skilled hands but there's a darkness that heavily hangs in the air it heavily hangs i work hard until the morning water and coffee my life supporting then i find myself mourning again mourning again mourning again again and again i think of mom saying there is a reason for every painful and joyful season there is a reason but right now i can't believe her Am I a John? Am I a Peter? Or tragic creature? now this truck is shifting gears while my mind is sifting fears like a full time job but this drive is a slice of heaven when i just listen to the wind rushing the cabin and in my heart
9.
Ruach 02:31
Ruach Ha Kodesh Ruach Elohim Ruach Ha Kodesh Ruach Elohim driving towards the light and I'm feeling like any moment now there won’t be no more nightmares the sound of 85 and a summer sky all i know right now is i don't have to be scared
10.
Did Ya? 04:25
it's a massive cliche to reminisce on the good ol days but we're gonna do it anyway sometimes is feels poetic sometimes it feels prosthetic regardless we hear the same refrain, "this is not the way that you thought it would turn out did ya?" i met my first best friend on the bus in the first grade we talked dragon ball z and tony hawk games we vandalized our neighbor's house we called him don, he was a grouch in retrospect, i hope he was okay "this is not the way that you thought it would turn out did ya?" this is not that complicated kids will be kids and when grown ups get to fighting there is a shift and the heart sees it right to harden and reject the gift yet when overwhelmed by forgiveness the words hit different "this is not the way that you thought it would turn out did ya?" you didn't think that it would turn out this way you didn't think that it would turn out this way you didn't think that it would turn out this way you didn't think that it would turn out this way
11.
We’ve been up for 30 hours We haven’t taken showers All in the name of hustle Praise the grind Praise the struggle Will these bones ever break? Will these bones ever truly break? Hands aching in the silence Thinking of the violence In the mouths of the hopeless We need peace, we need wholeness Will these tongues ever praise? Will these tongues ever truly praise? I wish that I could pray Pray in this ice-cold parking lot And I wish that I could fly away Far, far away from this chaos
12.
For Words 02:37
I wish that I could pray Pray in this ice-cold parking lot And I wish that I could fly away Far, far away from this chaos Far, far away from this chaos Far, far away from I wish that I could pray Pray in this ice-cold parking lot And I wish that I could fly away Far, far away from this chaos Far, far away from this chaos Far, far away from (Please stay) (Please stay)
13.
Lamb's Ears 04:39
"So soft," he reflected, holding the leaf to his face. It was Saturday. He had mowed the lawn for his grandparents. And he knelt by the Lamb. The fur-like hairs pressed into his cheek. Felt the familiarity. Felt the longing ache. The Lamb's Ear plants lay hugged against the front of the house. Underneath the window. To the right of the black-eyed Susies. Next to the walkway that leads to the front door. Soft, supple, a pale green; full and growing. "My wife loves those. They surround one of our oak trees. They always grow back, you can't kill them." You can't kill them. (Death be not proud, you cannot kill them) You can't kill the Lamb. My grandparents were the last to see him. I was told that before he left he bent down and felt the softness of the plant, held it to his face, commented on the fur-like leaves. Green Oak's spring plants had just been delivered. Every row was green and blooming with life. I asked if they had Lamb's Ears. A lady with white hair and smiling blue eyes led me to them. "Oh, it's cold. I need to get home to cover my own garden," she commented, weaving in and out of the nursery aisles. I picked out two, one for my grandma, one for my mom. A golden hue draped over the foliage from the 6 o'clock sun. I set them on the counter, money in hand. (Death be not proud, you cannot kill them) "My wife loves those Lamb's Ears. We have them surrounding an oak tree. They always come back, you can't kill them," remarked a neighboring customer. Soft to touch You can't kill them Green and blooming You can't kill them Even if you tried Even if you wanted Memories You can't kill them Only sleeping You can't kill them Victory over death You can't kill them Victory over death You can't kill Him Death be not proud You can't kill Him the Lamb died Resurrected Brought back to life You can't kill Him You can't kill them Assurance solidified Death for death Life for life And that Lamb died Once and final Once, for all. You can't kill Him You can't kill Him You can't kill them. (Death be not proud, you cannot kill them)
14.
Oakland 03:29
Can we find a place to stand and be warm? Expose our hearts beneath the winter sun Reveal what we should and shouldn’t adore And in the process, become one It's a remedy to be with you presently looking for the shine of eternal gold Though the grave is deafeningly loud there's another sound shaking up the earth and the waves abound Can we step out in the rain and be washed? Soak in mercy in a time of loss It's hard to know when we will go to join the slabs and stones But like a seed, we'll sprout and grow It's a remedy to be with you presently looking for the shine of eternal gold Though the grave is deafeningly loud there's another sound shaking up the earth and the waves abound Can we find a place to stand?
15.
I could lay here for several hours and feel the weight of absolutely everything I could call myself names upon names exist like this all my days What will change? What will change? I could question if i can trust you or what it really means to desecrate I could convince myself that you don't love me and I'll forever be a waste of space What will change? What will change? I don't need a breakthrough or a fuzzy feeling I don't need a word my ears would find appealing give me a shower and a meal give me a hand to hold to heal sing me a song, tell me a joke these are the things i need the most the things i need the most give me a shower and a meal give me a hand to hold to heal tell me I'm wrong, tell me the truth these are the things I need from you the things I need from you Heal us, Emmanuel Heal us, Emmanuel Heal us, Emmanuel Heal us, Emmanuel

about

"Full Hearts, Empty Places" is my second full-length release. In contrast to my first, "Childlikeness" which in a way was more of a mixtape of demos, FHEP is far more conceptual both lyrically and sonically. It recounts specific moments following the tragic loss of a friend, places I found myself, often alone, working as a baker, having hours upon hours of time to grieve, to process, to wrestle. It was good and it was bad. My heart was full. Full of hope just as much as pain. I discovered the “quiet place” more than I ever had. I learned a lot in these empty places. I grew. I learned about the cleansing of the conscience, the healing of the soul. I hope that comes through on this record.

credits

released September 30, 2022

Written, recorded, produced, and mixed by Allen Odell
Additional vocals by Benjamin Daniel and Dylan Case White
"Are You Okay?" co-written by Benjamin Daniel
"Lamb's Ears" written by Gracie Osorio
Post Emo Records

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allen odell Atlanta, Georgia

"Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing"

Allen Odell's music aims to evoke that very description through the combinations of lyrics, melodies, and rhythms that range from down-tempo, droney, and introspective to bright, quirky, and self-deprecating. ... more

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